Physical Ability and Stamina Test: 03

“If you aren’t trying to cheat, you ain’t trying!”

     -MSgt. Greg “Waldo” Waldheim, Combat Controller of the United States Air Force.

Waiting was agony. It was the longest three weeks I think I’ve ever experienced. Every day I would call or text my recruiter and inquire as to my status. Every time he would declare that he didn’t know and hadn’t heard anything. The reason I was stressed was because since I failed the last test I was in jeopardy of not physically having enough time to retest. If I couldn’t retake the test then the USAF would kindly give away my contract to another lucky individual and I would be forced back into rotation waiting for another date. This is what I feared.

Luckily, my recruiter was able to coordinate a retest in Harrisburg, PA. We knew where it would be and we knew that it would be MSgt. Waldo administering the test but we didn’t know when. For three weeks I didn’t hear anything. It wasn’t until the week of the test that I was informed. My recruiter told me it would be at a YMCA in Harrisburg and it would begin at 1100 on 12/09.

Fortunately, my father had made it clear to me that he would drive up with me if it became a situation where booking a plane flight would be too expensive. That’s exactly what we did. We departed the house at around 0530 and began our cross-country journey through all of Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, and Maryland all the way to Pennsylvania. It was a long trip. In hindsight though coming back seemed to take twice as long. Once in Pennsylvania we even drove through some snow! We went from high 70-degree weather to a low of 31 degrees in one day. We arrived in Harrisburg at 2330 and promptly checked into the hotel we had reserved and subsequently shed our clothes, dropped our bags, and fell asleep in what felt like seconds.

Our plan from the beginning was to get there a day early so that we could relax, get the lay of the land, and figure out where I would be testing and whatnot. Both my father and I slept in a bit and took advantage of the nice breakfast the hotel offered every morning until 1000. We weren’t in any rush to climb back into the car so we took our time eating and messed around on our computers. Eventually we decided to go about our day.

After cleaning ourselves up and driving through the town we discovered that we had a flat tire! Thank god there was a Tires Plus right around the corner from where we were. So we sputtered along and dropped off the car. The funny thing was that two days before this point in time my dad had just purchased 4 new tires for his Nissan Maxima and here one of them was just obliterated beyond repair. Apparently, we must’ve driven on it a lot the night before without even realizing it. The snow, we had driven through must have masked the mushy feeling the flat tire had. Oh, well.

For the rest of the morning my father and I walked around town, since the car was being worked on. We got haircuts, and walked around the mall and mainly just killed time. At some point we received a call that the car was fixed and a new tire was being put installed so we went back to Tires Plus. Shortly after we were on our way heading towards the local YMCA where my test was to be held the following morning.

A nice gentleman behind the desk happily gave us the grand tour. I’ve always found that I perform better in events if I have an idea or image of what it is to expect. In this case I got to see the pool area and the indoor track, which much to my chagrin, required 16 laps for the distance of a mile. Anybody familiar with running distance should cringe at hearing that. That meant for my mile and a half run I would have to run 24 laps of the track, which on its longest side I could run in 8 strides. Terrible.

For the remainder of that afternoon my father and I would go for a light two-mile jog, and I would only do about 100 push-ups just to stay loose. Later that night we would go out to dinner and be back in bed by 2000. A pretty boring day, but just what I needed. During the day, I received a text from my recruiter that the test was moved up an hour to 1000, which didn’t bother me in the slightest. The sooner it was over, the sooner I would pass and be back home in my own bed. For my first PAST I was entirely anxious and my performance was okay but not optimal by any means. For my second PAST I was nervous, and the whole time was hearing from my recruiter that I should hit the ironman standard for the test. So for this test I decided to remain indifferent as to what my scores were and how good they could be. I just decided to go out and do my best with each and every event and that was it. I would pass. End of story.

That night I slept well, I woke up a few times to use the bathroom but other than that I slept quite soundly. I didn’t wake up to the distress from nightmares or from a nervous anxiety. I was calm and collected and woke up when the alarm went off. I rolled out of bed hit the breakfast and feasted on two slices of peanut butter toast and three hardboiled eggs. I then went to the shower, changed into my gear, and popped my headphones in beginning my zoning out/amping up process. We arrived at the YMCA at 0900 and I warmed up Rocky style. I executed jumping jacks, shadow boxing, light resistance on a pull down machine, and a few push-ups. All the while jamming to Avenged Sevenfold, Disturbed, Godsmack, and Slipknot. I ran four or five laps on the ridiculously small track and then met with my recruiter downstairs in the lobby.

Immediately, I wanted to calm down so I changed my music to some Rebelution, SOJA, Collie Buddz, and Slightly Stoopid. I was amply warmed up but now needed to relax and mentally focus knowing that I would perform well. My recruiter brought with him another PJ wannabe who was interested in the field and wanted to take the test as a practice. I never spoke much to him. I was zoned out.

Soon enough, a couple other recruiters and two other wannabe’s later we had everyone so we went to the locker room to change and met out on the pool deck. We were informed that MSgt. Waldo was running late and were told to get into the pool and prepare ourselves. Soon enough MSgt. Waldo showed up and I knew it was time for business.

“Haven’t I seen you before?” he asked me, as he walked over to the four of us.

“Yes Sergeant, I tested with you last month,” I replied.

“What happened?” he asked.

I answered, “I failed the pull-ups Sergeant.”

“Well don’t suck this time!” He declared. Without missing a beat he began his lecture and told us what to expect and to just put out.

MSgt. Waldo didn’t demonstrate the swim component this time as three out of four of us had already taken the test and were all trying to pass our final PAST so we could all ship on 01/03/12. That means if the three of us passed we would all be in basic together and subsequently in indoctrination together. Kind of cool.

During this time I introduced myself to the other testers. The two who could potentially be at basic with me were named Will and Briyan. (I spell Briyan with both an “I” and a “y” because I don’t know how he spells it, so why not do both.) I honestly forget the fourth kids name, who my recruiter had brought up. He didn’t look like much and unsurprisingly enough he wasn’t. Without any adieu we began the test. Underwaters (as you know by now,) came first.

After completing two of them MSgt. Waldo spoke up, “Get with this guy,” he said, pointing to me. “I don’t say this often but your underwater swim stroke is perfect. All of your guys’ strokes are good but his is perfect. Get with him.”

I must say it is nice being complemented like that. The 500-meter swim was next and boy did it hurt. I hadn’t been swimming at the Masters program as much as I had prior to my second PAST so my time wasn’t great. I honestly forget exactly what it was because frankly I didn’t care. It was passing and that was all that mattered. Next up, the run. Luckily for us there was a track not too far away and we decided to drive to it to do the run, as the small one the YMCA provided would’ve been terrible. Due to its small size it would be incredibly difficult to maintain a fast pace and long stride, as you would be turning every 10 steps. In addition to that is the hazard of dodging other pedestrians who were there walking or jogging for their own fitness.

I did a lap to warm up and some feet drills to get my legs going. It was cold outside so a beanie, gloves, cold weather underarmor and my knee-high soccer socks were a must. My time probably something around 9:20 if I recall correctly. Again not great, probably due to the cold weather shock my muscles felt. Sometimes it isn’t good being a Floridian. But hey, it was passing which is all that mattered. Unfortunately, Briyan failed to pick up and maintain a good pace for the run and failed. A failure on one event is a failure for the whole PAST. He wouldn’t be going to basic with Will and I on the third of January. It sucks but he still stayed for the rest of the test to finish strong with us.

My nemesis was next, pull-ups. This was the deciding factor in my failure last test and was what I considered to be the "X" factor for this test. After my failure of the last PAST I really focused hard on pull-ups. One day in particular, every fifteen minutes I would do a set of pull-ups (6 reps), followed by a set of chin-ups (6 reps), with maybe a minute break in between. That day specifically, I must have done at least 200 reps of pull-ups/chin-ups. It payed off.

As MSgt. Waldo demonstrated the proper form of a pull-up he told us, "I am stickler for form. Make sure you come all the way up and go all the way down. You know your good if you touch your chest to the bar. I want you to do these perfectly. Dare me not to count one! Don't waste energy on a rep that won't even count." This time I busted out 12 flat and none were taken away due to improper form.

Sit-ups followed next. I have no excuse for why my number was so low, I need to work on it or something. But 57 sit-ups is passing so shit I'll take it.

"Kyle what's wrong with you man?" Asked Waldo. "You are killing yourself man! You are more in shape than you think you are Kyle. You hit like a mental wall or something. You make it harder on yourself than it actually is. You'll break that wall though and then you will be pounding out sit-ups like crazy."

Last but certainly not least came push-ups. I wasn't a beast when it came to push-ups but I wasn't incapable either, I knew I could pass. Normally I get around the high 50's for this evolution. But today was a different day. I punded out 35 flat before I paused for a breath but made sure to continue doing push-ups until my full two minutes were up. The way I figured it, If I just kept going for the whole time there was no way I wouldn't pass. When time was called I was slightly worried. MSgt. Waldo took away five of my push-ups for improper form. 

I knew my push-ups number wasn't high. Shoot, all of my numbers haven't been high anymore. I focus too much on one aspect and kill that one event but my other areas suffer. Initially, I was out of shape and was worried about my run time so I ran everyday at least 2-3 miles. The result was running 8:40 mile and a half, but my swimming suffered. So I turned to that as it is probably the most emphasized aspect of Indoctrination and so I attacked it, swimming 2 miles 2-3 times a week, ensuring that I perfected my form. The result was swimming an 8:40. BEAST. Still haven't been able to replicate that. But do you know what happened? When I focused so heavily on swimming a different evolution in my training failed to get the attention it needed: Pull-ups, which lead to the failure. So this time around I tried to do everything and maintain every aspect, but it is hard. And would you know it I still didn't do enough push-ups to prepare. I did great for my pull-ups but my push-ups suffered.

As time was called I dropped to my knees and sat up slowly, panting heavily with exhaustion. It is done. PAST test complete. MSgt. Waldo looks at me and doesn't say a word. He then looks to my dad and gives him a poker face look before turning to the recruiters in attendance.

"What's your count?" asked Waldo.

I couldn't hear the recruiter's response, they mumbled a bit. Apparently my recruter didn't even count as he was nervous for me and just looked away the whole time.

"I don't even know what the minimum is, what is it?" asked Waldo.

One of the recruiter's answered.

MSgt. Waldo drops his head and sighs deeply, "Damn Kyle. If you had just gotten a few more reps I would've been able to give you an early christmas present."

I was confused, zoned out from the effort. It took me a minute to come to the realization of what his words implied. Did I really just fail push-ups... F!@#

Without saying anything else Waldo leans over and shoves the counter in my face. The number on the display: 52. The minimum required amount. Damn him. I hate him. I love this guy. I immediately jumped up and gave a "Whoop" of elation. I did it. I did it. I passed my PAST. I was on my way to Basic Military Training and then Indoctrination. HOOYAH!

As we watched Briyan perform his two minutes of push-ups, MSgt. Waldo who was in front of me, without even looking behind him reaches back and extends his fist towards me. He gave me daps, LOL.

A few minutes later and the test is over. Four candidates tested. Two passed. Briyan, who was testing for his final time to leave with Will and I for Basic, immediately left. He was heartbroken. I know the feeling. I can't blame him. I know he will come back and tear it up next time. He was one pull-up short and was too slow on the run. The cruel thing with this test is no matter how you perform you know that you can do better, or that some aspect of your training wasn't good enough. It may be passing but you know there is always more you can do.

MSgt. Waldo had this workout that you do while watching television throughout the day. Fifteen past the hour on a commercial break do 25-30 push-ups and then just maintain the push-up position for the remaining duration of the commercial. Half past the hour do sit-ups for the full commercial break. Fifteen before the hour do negative pull-ups. When the hour strikes grab yourself a drink or a beer and sit your "fat ass on the couch." It's a good workout and gets your calisthenics in while drinking beer and watching tv. I hadn't been doing it though.

"Kyle, have you been watching tv?" asked Waldo.

"No Sergeant, I play video games."

"Dammit, did I say to play video games?"

"No Sergeant."

"No! So quit being a little bitch and watch television like a man!"

At the mention of video games MSgt. Waldo related a story of a kid he tested in the past, "I had this kid who tested one time, and he failed. The kid couldn't believe it and he started flipping out saying, 'Do you know who I am?' I was like, 'No.' Then the kid boasted, 'I'm Internationally ranked in Call of Duty! I've done your job 200 times over. You don't even know!' I couldn't believe this kid."

That story proved to be quite the laugh. Waldo had many stories like that, too many to relate. I feel privileged to have met him and am kind of glad I failed my second PAST. It really put it in perspective how important my fitness is and how fast it can deteriorate if not maintained.

I leave you with something Waldo related to me as he began telling one of his numerous stories. Some kid had come up to him dropping the name of a book and asking him if he had heard of it or read it. Waldo didn't say this, but thought to himself, "I don't read books. I live 'em."