MEPS: ASVAB

After completing my practice PAST and affirming to myself that I had what it took to physically qualify for Pararescue I knew I was ready for the real thing. So my recruiter went ahead and scheduled my first official PAST test for August 4^th, 2011. At this time I had all of my paperwork in and the only thing left to do was to schedule my visit to MEPS (Medical Entrance Processing Station). Now MEPS locations are usually located in every major city and that is where enlistees go to take their ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery), complete their medical screening, and where you process out of on your way to basic. Based on the stories I’ve heard each location is a little different in how they run things. This is my account of my MEPS visit.

I was told to meet up with my recruiter at 1400 in his office, where he would then take me into downtown Pittsburgh along with another individual, and drop us off at the MEPS station. I was excited. It was the next step. Looking back on it now it was actually quite boring, but I made the most of it.

I got out of the car and said my goodbyes to my recruiter with instructions to call him after I was released the following day. Basically the plan was this: I was to go into MEPS where I would give them my information and take my ASVAB test, then I would be shuttled off to the hotel were I would be spending the night with a bunch of other individuals who were planning on enlisting, then the following day we would be shuttled back to MEPS for our medical evaluations.

For those of you who don’t know the ASVAB is the SAT of the military. It’s an ability test that scores your answers and rates your “capabilities” in certain aspects and areas of each perspective branch. The job you want and the score you get have a direct correlation in this regard. Score high and well you can do pretty much whatever you please in the military, whereas, if you achieve a low score you might only qualify for infantry or may not even be allowed into the service. All of this solely based off of your score.

So like every lazy ass smart kid I didn’t study.

Throwing my bag over my shoulder and taking a deep breath of air I began my ascent up the steps, through the lobby, and to the floor where MEPS was located. I walked hesitantly up to the desk where a LCpl (Lance Corporal) immediately reamed me for having a “cover” on inside. I don’t think I’ve ever moved so fast, the way I ripped my hat off and threw it in my bag, I must’ve been the Flash. After speaking with the LCpl briefly I was given instructions to head over to the ASVAB testing room and sent on my way.

Upon entering the room I noticed one middle-aged man, and a few other enlistees in the middle of taking their ASVAB’s. Now apparently, thanks to technology, the ASVAB testing process has changed. In the room before me was row upon row of computers whose only purpose was for testing. According to my dad, “back in his day” they used hammer and chisels on stone slabs for their test. Of course by hammer and chisels I mean scantrons.

The older man turned to me in his swivel chair and looked me up and down, “Did you study?” he asked.

For some reason at this exact moment I forgot how to use words, and the only noise I was able to make was a constant stream of “ums and uhs.”

“Mmmmhmmmmm,” he said. “Figures! You all be wasting my damn time.”

I didn’t know how to respond to this so I remained silent. Shortly thereafter he had me set up on my own computer away from the other three individuals testing. Before I knew it I was underway. Now I don’t know how long the test takes exactly, but like every standardized test American students are force fed, it feels like eternity.

After completing the test I was instructed by the older gentleman to stay where I was and fill out a personality test survey. I forget what it was called exactly and the acronym for it, I’m not even officially a member of the Air Force yet or even in basic and I’m already complaining about the acronyms, oh boy! So up on my screen came the personality test, which proceeded to be the weirdest test and most morally upsetting one I have taken to date. It went as follows, if I remember correctly there were approximately 50 questions. Each question had two choices and only two choices. Out of these two options you could only choose one. I was told that both may seem like they are inapplicable to me but that I would have to choose the one that was less so… I don’t know if that makes any sense but I hope it reads well. So here it went with questions like:

A) Are you racist, or do you look down on others who look differently than you?

Or

B) Have you ever thought about hurting yourself or others around you?

Shit. Great I’m either a racist or a suicidal/homicidal maniac. But this wasn’t enough any question you refused to answer would keep recurring and would be an option 1405923797 times. I got the race question A LOT.

Halfway through my personality test the old proctor guy hollered at my, “Niiiinety Twoooo!”

“What?” I said. I didn’t understand him.

“You got a ninety two. Thanks for not wasting my damn time!” he replied.

At this point he continued on chatting with me as I finished up my insanity test. Upon completing it he printed out a score sheet with my job potential scores all broken down for each individual branch and sent me on my way. I promptly exited the building and hopped on the bus headed for the hotel I was to be staying the night at.

It was going to be a fun night.